Talk With A Pro. Ms. Harriet Marwood!


Hey let’s try something new. Want to talk to a pro? Well Ms. Harriet Marwood wants to answer your questions. We may do a weekly or monthly Q & A about anything spanking. Seeing a pro, Spanking Life Coaching effectiveness, Spanking Tutorials, Implements, Positions, Stories and advice. Whatever you want to know, from someone who knows a lot, here’s your chance. Just leave questions in the comments area, or write me or Ms. Marwood: or

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One Response to Talk With A Pro. Ms. Harriet Marwood!

  1. someonesandy says:

    I was hoping you’d post your questions here. But you are sending them to both Ms. Marwood and me. So I’ll post them here:

    Dear Miss Marwood,

    I’ve been visiting the same Domme for many years. So I suppose I continue to do so out of a sense of loyalty. Here’s the problem. Having been in the scene for many decades, I know what I need from a session. Often, I just don’t need to just get spanked. I feel the need to be punished. I need to NOT enjoy it. Despite my requests and her promises to do so. She won’t go there with me. I know I should probably look elsewhere, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings and I do see it as a betrayal. Any thoughts or suggestions?



    Dear Kevin,

    Firstly, I applaud your loyalty and good intentions. You are someone I would consider a wonderful client.

    When we develop a long-term spanking relationship, either as the client or as the Disciplinarian, things become personal. We invest our trust and our feelings, just as in any friendship or colleagial association. I imagine, if you’ve been seeing this one person for quite some time you care about her, and vice versa. I find it surprising, since you seem so well acquainted, that this lady doesn’t understand what you’ve requested of her. Is it possible that giving a good, sound thrashing is just not something she feels comfortable doing? Every individual has his/her own sensibilities, and even spankers have their boundaries and limits. Sometimes talking just isn’t enough.

    Maybe this woman is concerned that she might do harm to you if she goes beyond what she is normally accustomed to delivering to a naughty bottom. If this is the case, one thing you could try is to do a session in which you set any role play aside and proceed with the spanking with the agreement that either of you can make requests or offer feedback as you go. This way, if the lady reaches a point wherein she feels too concerned to escalate further, she can check in with you from time to time as you both try to “up the ante”. In this manner, you could reassure her that you are handling the whacking just fine and are even craving more intensity. (You could even egg her on with some uppity quips, so she can see you’re still having fun.) For some people, once their questions about really hurting someone (not in a “fun” way) can be dispelled, they can relax and concentrate on pushing the limits without any underlying worry or fear. If you were to try this sort of thing, generally, each of you would emerge with a new understanding of how far you can go.

    If you’ve already tried something like this and she still is not able to give you what you need, perhaps you don’t have to abandon this relationship entirely. You could just look for another disciplinarian who is skilled and comfortable with heavy corporal sessions… and let me stress the skilled part! If you’re going to offer yourself up for an intense beating, you need to be sure that the provider knows what she’s doing… and cares. Then, when you want more of a recreational kind of spanking with lots of good scolding and paddling, strapping and the like, you can see your current disciplinarian. But when you need something more punishing, you can visit someone else. If this is not okay with your current spanker then you shouldn’t be critical of yourself for looking for a new relationship completely. Once you have made an effort to communicate your needs and have given ample opportunities for your spanker to try to meet them, if she is not able to do so, you have every right to look for someone who can.

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