Like the old Dear Abbey this your chance to ask, comment, tell a spanking story to a real life disciplinarian Ms. Marwood. Let’s see if this picks up steam. Send your questions to me: SomeonesAndy@yahoo.com or leave them in a comment here. Put Dear Ms. Marwood in the subject line.
I want to hear from you.
I really enjoy your blog and visit it every single day without fail. Thank you for what you do.
My question for Ms. Marwood is … How often do you spank/paddle/cane a sub (male or female) to actual tears and what is the key to obtaining tears during corporal punishment?
That is a great question. I frequently hear first time clients tell me during the intake phone interview that they want to be “spanked to tears”. Apparently, quite a few people desire – or at least fantasized about – that experience. However, I have almost never seen it happen with casual clients. It has occurred with a few regular clients, but even with them, it’s not a frequent occurrence.
It’s rare that people — and especially people of the male persuasion — can allow themselves to be relaxed and vulnerable enough to go to the emotional place required for real tears to bubble up. If you think back to your first spanking session you might remember being a bit nervous. Maybe not, but most people are. Even if I were to thrash such a person as hard as I safely could his mind is, at least partially, busy with thoughts like “How far is woman going to take this?” … ‘Am I safe?” or “What the hell was I thinking… turning my bare ass over to a total stranger?!”
For someone to allow himself to release his defenses and break down into tears takes more than imagination and fantasy. In my experience, for a grown man to reach that vulnerability and relaxation takes establishing a mutually caring relationship and familiarity. When clients have become regular guests in my home and we play together and, perhaps, chat a bit afterward a number of times this becomes a safe space where everyone can just be themselves. None the original questions or concerns are present anymore. That’s the kind of environment where a spanko can let it all hang out. He can feel the sting of the paddles, straps, canes or whatever and let them go deeper and deeper. It doesn’t always lead to tears but it can. Crying is an intimate act and it’s much harder to do in the presence of a stranger than someone you’ve come to like and trust.
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