Dear Ms. Marwood,
Your advice is well thought out and informative. I’m a married man who has always fantasized about being spanked. How do I approach my wife about this? (We’ve been married eleven years.) I don’t want her think I’m strange. I don’t know how she’ll react truthfully. Or should I just seek out a pro like you?
Many people ask this question and, just as people have differing attitudes and personalities, there is no one definitive answer to how or when to try to confide in your wife about your interests. Not knowing your wife I can only pose a few questions, such as: have you ever hinted at the subject and gotten some sort of reaction? Then you’d at least have some data. Is your wife at all adventurous in the bedroom? That would give you room for encouragement. Have you tried to joke about this with her? E.g., perhaps by playfully saying – if you ever do something that really displeases her – “You’re right. I should probably get a spanking for that and be sent to bed without supper.” And see what her response is. If she looks at you, horrified, and runs screaming out of the room, at least you know there’s not much use in pursuing the matter. If she laughs, you might feel encouraged to make a few other playful suggestive comments. Always keeping it fun. After 2 or 3 you might come out and admit you’ve always been curious about spanking games. But before taking that step, prepare yourself to be accepting of whatever her opinions about it are. You may desperately want her to surprise you and confess a secret longing for it, too. But she has to feel that you are not going to judge her, no matter what she feels, just as you don’t want to be judged by her.
I would recommend, if you want to raise the odds of a good reaction, that you start finding ways of making your entire relationship with your wife enjoyable, pleasurable, and fun. If she feels you are trying to recognize what her needs are and trying to fulfill them, she will be more open to at least hear and consider yours. She may have no interest in spanking. Just as some people like tennis; some people hate tennis but love golf, you can’t fault people for what they like. But, as a woman, I can tell you that when I feel like a man cares about me and makes efforts to attend to my needs, I am far more open to whatever he may ask of me. Do you give her sweet little surprises, now and then? …Taking her out to a nice dinner or weekend getaway? Bringing something home because it made you think of her? Or do your part to help around the household? Thank her for things she does for you and the family? Perhaps, let her sleep late on a weekend and you entertain the kids… you get the idea. You’ll be making her feel loved and also accruing credit in the goodwill account. That will never hurt you.
I’d also suggest getting a copy of the book The Adult Spanking & Discipline Handbook by Gemma Forbes. There is whole chapter of many ideas for broaching the subject of spanking with your significant other. Above all, keep it light and fun, and if it doesn’t go the way you hope, still make her feel okay about it. If you can do that, there’s chance she may leave the door open a bit and that leaves at least a glimmer of hope for the future.