I found Renee on Twitter @and asked if she wanted to talk about being in a Domestic Discipline relationship. Lucky for you, she did. Have you always been a spanko?
As long as I can remember, yes.
What are your earliest spanking memories?
Playing “school” with friends in grade school and paddling them with a rectangular wiffle ball bat.
When did you start acting on them?
Around 3rd or 4th grade .
Young. Are you strictly a bottom?
At home, yes. At parties (spanking parties) sometimes only a bottom but many times a switch. I love to spank almost as much as I like to be spanked.
Do you ever do things to provoke a spanking?
And what kind of things would that be?
Let a few chores go, maybe go to bed too late, sass my Top (wife).
Are spankings punishment only for you?
No. Mostly maintenance, punishment, but also very often, foreplay spankings as well.
Let’s into your headspace. What does a spanking do to you, emotionally and physically?
Depends on what kind of spanking it is. Breaking it down: Maintenance, and Punishment: I am ever so directly reminded that I am NOT in charge and I find it interesting that at a certain point in the spanking that my attitude really changes and I am apologetic, contrite and I am quiet and obedient. I am usually sassy in general so for me this is a really good way to stop that immediately.
Do you ever let yourself go enough to cry?
My wife is heavy handed, it isn’t me letting go as much as it is so painful that I can’t help but cry. I do wish though that she would spank me till I get in that headspace where I can’t even cry anymore and I go limp over her lap. Hasn’t happened yet.
How often are you spanked?
Not quite daily, but close. Sometimes its just a little smack on my bottom to remind me to be respectful of her or it could be a bedtime spanking of a punishment kind.
You have a wife?
Yes, we married 2 yrs ago.
How’d did you two meet?
We met in a regular bar on a night out with friends. I asked her to dance and then we danced the rest of the night together.
Was it spanking at first sight?
She turns me on! She is very dominant with me and just is a born leader.
So you didn’t have to coax it out?
She is or was very Vanilla and didn’t know about DD. I had to teach it to her. When we met I had an online Top that punished me when I broke set rules. My wife learned a few things from her, via, emails, Skype and just reading about DD herself.
Have all your relationships been DD based?
No, I was married previously and for some reason I never let her know about it. I was only married very shortly. I think I knew it wasn’t right.
What implements are used on you?
OMG! Pretty much everything! Normal, everyday spankings usually come with use of the wooden hairbrush. Also the leather (thick) belt. She uses a tawse, leather paddle, lexan paddle and cane. Really severe punishments are with several implements and almost always include the cane.
Any you loathe?
I fear the cane!!!
You, too, are a blogger. Let’s plug your site and tell us what you want to use it for?
Thanks. Find me at firstname.lastname@example.org I like to write spanking stories but honestly haven’t in a while. I used to have a site where I invited other bottoms on it an I was the Top and we would role play. I was Ms. Spanks.
Differences between a man and woman spanking you?
I think the difference isn’t whether it is a man or woman but how they view spanking. If they are a spanko or not. Experienced or not. Those are what makes a good vs. not so good spanker. I have a friend who I refer to as “Daddy”, when he spanks me we usually are at a party and we are doing some roleplay, Him: Daddy, me: errant child/teen. He roleplays with lecturing and scolding and I like that. He is also a great Top and is very well versed in this lifestyle. He watches for signs and communicates well. My wife does to some degree but she really doesn’t like this lifestyle to be honest. She does it because I asked her to. My “Daddy” is more nurturing and welcoming. My wife is not that way. Its all business and get it done. I am hoping that this will change but she is who she is.
Somehow I would think women are more exacting and detailed oriented?
I will say this, I have been spanked by other women and there have been a few who I have really enjoyed getting my head wrapped up inside the bottoming part of it. My online top was the best in the worst way. Holy cow she could really rip me a new one.
Tell us about a typical spanking?
My wife will call me to the room (usually our bedroom), tell me to come to her and there will be an implement(s) laying beside her. I will know kind of by her tone when she calls me what it is about. She will have me lower my pants/panties and lie over her lap. She holds me tight and depending on how much I squirm, she may wrap her legs around mine to keep me in place. She never tells me how many I’m getting. She is pretty good at telling if I am at my limit or not. I have said my safe word on 2 occasions even during a punishment spanking which I think shouldn’t ever be necessary if you know your bottom.
But you used them?
As I said, she is heavy handed and sometimes spanks way too hard.
What are the advantages of being in a Domestic Discipline relationship?
I feel taken care of in a way not possible in traditional relationship. She takes care of things that I don’t want to. I take care of things she doesn’t want to and I answer to her and she cares for me. ( I too care for her and nurture her but differently). I can get a release (from a spanking) when I’m feeling frustrated. Behaviors that I dislike about myself get curbed and I don’t do them as often or not at all.
What do your vanilla friends think of the relationship?
I only have a few vanilla friends that know. I was horrified to find out that my wife told her best friend and her partner. They are cool about it and I think they are even doing a little spanking around their household.
Have you ever been threatened or spanked in front of friends or family?
Yes!!!! Sooooo embarrassing. Both. I’ve told her that is a hard limit but she said that if I disobeyed in public then I have to deal with that. Again, she’s more vanilla than,…chocolate??? Anyway, it’s a work in progress.
Do you think spanking is effective in controlling behavior or modifying bad habits?
Yes!! I drive much more carefully, under or right at the speed limit, whereas before I would just fly!! I monitor my bank account much better now and I am not swearing. Now truth be told, it isn’t just the spanking that does it. It’s those hard looks with her eyebrow raised at me and that look, that look like if I do one more thing to irritate or push my luck, I am gonna get it!!!