Dear Ms. Marwood – Spanking Porn

marwood header

Dear Ms. Marwood,

I found spanking porn on my sons (14 years old) computer history. What do I do? Confront him? Don’t say anything as boys will be boys? We’ve never spanked him. Is it just curiosity?

Marie

Dear Marie,

What I can tell you is this:  many clients have reported being curious about spanking in childhood.  Some of them since they were 5 years old or younger. I’d say it’s about 50/50 as which ones actually experienced spanking in the home and which ones didn’t, so there doesn’t really seem to be a correlation.   It’s just like being straight or gay. If you’re a real spanko, generally, the urges just show up and the desires never go away.  The therapeutic community  no longer considers such a thing a “perversion”.  It’s just another form of sexual expression… and there are far worse – and even harmful — things to be attracted to than this. If by porn, you mean images of men doing shocking, misogynistic  things to woman, or engaging in pornographic sexual acts (and we all know the difference between that and other kinds of sex) well, then I’d be concerned that perhaps it should be addressed.  But if it’s just images of bare bottoms being spanked and paddled and the like, maybe it’s something you should try monitoring before you try bringing it up to him. Maybe you don’t need to even confront this at all. Wait and see. I’m not averse to some really cagey snooping by concerned parents. Adolescents are supposed to be curious and they are also supposed to try exploring things (safely) that they don’t share with their parents… to a certain extent. Sometimes confronting them with it will drive it underground, or even make them more interested in it simply because of the defiant nature of the developmental phase they’re going through.  You know your child. I don’t. I can only offer another viewpoint to consider. If any of this resonates with you, it’s probably worth at least a try.

marwood archive tip

This entry was posted in Dear Ms. Marwood. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Dear Ms. Marwood – Spanking Porn

  1. CS says:

    As a general comment to the letter I’d suggest that it might be time to start having conversations about sex and sexuality in general, and highlight the differences between porn and “regular” sex as performed “at home”. Personally I wouldn’t bring up having found spanking porn in the browser history.

  2. baxter says:

    I was about 12-14 when I started being interested in spanking. My parents did not spank me so when I would hear of kids talking about it at school, it interested me. This one girl was rubbing her butt saying that her bottom was still very warm from a spanking the night before. I wanted to experience it and find out about it. Sure I looked at porn magazines, but was drawn to the articles about spanking and would sometimes take a paddle to my bare bottom, but I doubt it was the same feeling.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s