Dear Ms. Marwood – Agree to Disagree

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Dear Ms. Marwood,

From your answer to Pam: “I consider a hairbrush spanking a serious escalation and I never use in my session without discussing it beforehand and making sure the client knows what he’s in for.  It is the equivalent of a thick, heavy paddle and, personally, I would not recommend using it on any small child.  A teenage boy, however, is a different case.”

The most important factor in a discipline session to me is authenticity. When I someday visit a pro disciplinarian, I want her to be completely genuine, not acting a role. I am to be punished for something I actually did when I was 17 years old, and the disciplinarian must treat the situation as she would have had she held the authority at that time, and therefore she must actually support and favor spankings for teenage boys. She must support parental punishment that has nothing to do with consensual adult play. She must understand that I would not have agreed to any form of corporal punishment at the time. It would have had to have been imposed on me, and that is what she would have done, imposed it.

I fear the hairbrush and have no experience with it. My question is whether you provide real punishment spankings for those with no adult experience? Must there be a safe word? Can you be in charge in a way that a parent is in charge of their child? Is it possible to give the client the punishment that works for them without relying on them to specify how difficult it should be? The problem I have with the adult pro discipline scene is that it is geared for adults. I’m looking for a spanking that is no different than my experience being raised in an old-fashioned strict home. Not brutality, but no coddling either. When I am about to face it, I will NOT want to be punished! Yes, it is my fetish, but the result must be a realistic punishment for the offense committed, as it would have been handled at the time of the offense—how you, personally, would have handled it, or at least how you would have supported my parents, if they had administered the spanking that was truly earned and long overdue.

Franz

Dear Franz,

I guess I’m not your gal, then. I would never support parents in delivering CP to a minor. That is between parent and child. I have said this on numerous occasions: it’s none of my business how parents choose to impose discipline on their own children. Spanking sessions, by definition, are always at least one step removed from reality. I’m not in the business of doling out “real life” discipline to people I do not have an intimate personal relationship with. That would be irresponsible. The only caveat to that is my Spanking Life Coaching Program. In that purview I am responsible for meting out the appropriate “consequences” in accordance to how well the coachee has faired in completing his/her assignments. But the client initially has some input on that punishment, and with those parameters I shall do as I see fit.

The purpose of a Professional Disciplinarian, is to provide a safe space for spankos to come and express and experience their many and varied individual spanking needs, wishes and desires. Any bonafide professional should have the expertise to be able to calibrate a client’s reactions and have a pretty good idea of what he  wants and can tolerate. But there also has to be an interchange of exploration and information, before the fact, to add to that.  It’s certainly possible to enact the exact kind of punishment you’d give a teenager, but the adult client would probably not find that very satisfying. In real life childhood punishment, the spanking would have, in most cases, consisted of a stern lecture about the errant deed and then 10 minutes or so of a belting or spanking. Or maybe an OTK hairbrushing… although a teenage boy is often strong enough to evade his mother’s lap, so probably not! That is why we call sessions “adult spanking”. We can recreate seminal moments of childhood mischief and even deliver a punishment that the client has felt many years of gullt  over for having escaped, but no client I’ve ever encountered expected to be spanked like a 12 year old. They want drama. They want suspense. They want it to last for an hour or more, often with spankings that no child could have tolerated. When I embark on a spanking adventure I’m fully invested. I believe I AM the teacher, step-mother, aunt or whomever, and I treat my adult client as the 10 year old or 17 year old, etc. he is supposed to be, and for that time, in my mind I think they ARE that child. I am just as angry or disappointed as his mother might be at his foolishness, defiance, deceit or what-have-you. And that’s how we “make it real” in my little spank-a-torium. But I think you have to know how to tell the difference between fantasy and reality, and give yourself fully to each when the occasion demands.

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