Dear Ms. Marwood – Oops!


First of all, I love your site.  It has got to be one of the best f/m spanking sites on the internet.

I have a unique question for Ms. Marwood that I think many of your readers could relate to and I hope it doesn’t come across as too creepy in nature.  I think it is something a ton of spankos worry about.  I am a male who gets super turned on by the idea of a woman spanking me.  Just the thought of going over a womans lap is enough to give me an erection.  On occasion I have leaned over a pillow and give myself a self spanking, and several times the spanking has caused me to ejaculate.  I would love to spend time over the lap of a professional disciplinarian like Ms. Marwood, but I worry that I would ejaculate on her lap.  Has she ever dealt with this problem before?  Would a professional disciplinarian be offended if this were to happen?  Is there anything I can do to decrease my chance of ejaculating while being spanked?

Thanks for your time!

Dear E-paddle,

Your Q is not an unusual one. The first thing I’d recommend to you is that you mention it to whatever Disciplinarian you plan on seeing.  Any reputable pro spanker will speak with you on the phone, or live before a session, to discuss any requests or concerns. If someone will not do that for you they don’t deserve your hard earned money, in my opinion. I’m guessing different spankers have differing preferences and policies regarding something like this. I believe, and I think rightly so, that you can’t control Mother Nature. If something excites you, your body has a mind of its own and will do what it does. Probably, most Disciplinarians have encountered this in quite a few sessions. I do not allow a release in my sessions and I clearly and specifically explain my policy on that before taking a booking. Having said that, I know that people may have involuntary responses.  My most frequent observation is that, if someone does get an erection, once the spanking gets fully underway it goes away. I’m guessing their attention is shifted to the sting and pain on their bottom and doesn’t feel as erotic as it did a few minutes before, during the warm-up. So, I usually ignore it because soon it will be moot. If an “accident” does occur, I generally don’t call attention to it—I always have a towel on my lap so there’s really no need to make a fuss over it. Men are too easily driven to focus on sex and I like to delineate clear boundaries. I think spanking should be about discipline, not pleasure, and I also don’t want to get into grey areas regarding legalities. If you’re worried about an “accident” embarrassing you in a session, I’d suggest that you try masturbating before your session, as close to the meeting time as possible while still being discreet. That usually helps things like unintended arousal or premature ejaculation. It’s not foolproof but it’s worth a try.

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3 Responses to Dear Ms. Marwood – Oops!

  1. Ethan says:

    Thank you for this response. This is the biggest reason I have never been to a professional before. With this advice I might be able to last across a beautiful womans lap.

  2. franzcoughka says:

    This is something that concerns me as well. The idea of being punished with a spanking is erotic to me, and arousal would likely be stronger if there was an attraction to the disciplinarian. Not only do I think, like Ms. Marwood, that spanking should be about discipline, not pleasure, anything that detracts from the real disciplinary nature of the scene can possibly destroy the whole dynamic and needed fulfillment of what I’m seeking. Submitting to a spanking while aroused is not the same as surrendering when you honestly don’t want it. The idea is to get as close as possible to the reality of punishment within the realm of spanking not brutality.

    I wonder if there may be the possibility that the disciplinarian could direct the one about to be punished to go into the bathroom and masturbate, and then return with the requirement that no erection of any degree can be evident. This would ensure that the spanking is experienced as pure punishment.

    The knowledge the disciplinarian has that she is administering genuine corporal punishment is vitally important to me. The surrender to discipline without the push that arousal provides is what assures her. That’s what makes it such a compelling experience shared. Her measure of what is required is based on only the disciplinary impact and without the ambiguity that erotic feelings inject into the determination of what is punishment and what is pleasure.

    • Frank says:

      It depends of the spanker I know, but I sometimes have the same problem, I warn my lady before we get in the serious business and usually, she puts me across her lap, and gives me a quick handjob ( nothing erotic,just quick to get me a release so I can feel the seriousness aND the discipline of the spanking )

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