Dear Ms. Marwood – No Witnesses

Dear Ms. Marwood,

My wife spanks me whenever she feels it will do me good. Maybe once a month. Sometimes more. It’s always just the two of us. Lately she said she may want our neighbor to witness one of my punishments. Or her sister. I have pleaded with her not to let them watch. I don’t take them bravely. I breakdown. Squirm. Even shed tears. I don’t want anyone else to see me that way. Is there a spankee’s Bill of Rights? She thinks it would add to my embarrassment (it would) and that I would behave more knowing I’d be spanked in front of others. 
We read your column every Tuesday together. Please side for me in this. Please.


Aww, John,

My heart goes out to you, dear. Yes, there is such thing as a Spankee’s Bill of Rights, and that is usually something people hammer out BEFORE embarking on this type of arrangment. If you feel that you need one, you can always ask to make one now and see how that goes over with your lady.

It truly is most embarrassing to be punished in front of witnesses. Especially if you don’t feel you are taking it bravely. If you have given yourself over to your wife’s control, then it’s up to her what kind of correction she can subject you to. It really boils down to what kind of an agreement you and your wife have regarding your discipline. If you have no formalized agreement then this is your chance to cobble one out. If you feel spanking as a spectator sport is a bridge too far, you can list that as one of your hard limits.

Since you’re the only one weighing in here I cannot know why, exactly, your wife is considering heightening the embarrassment and intensity in this way. If you are someone who easily forgets the lessons she’s imparted in her discipline – or who doesn’t comply with rules or instructions consistently, I could see your wife wanting to “up the ante” and punish you in a manner that would wake you up and get you to take notice. While I believe in mutually consensual disciplinary arrangements, I also acknowledge that the punishment must fit the crime. So if you’re wife is threatening you so harshly, my question is: what have you done to deserve that? If your answer is honestly nothing, and she is just doing this for her amusement, you have to decided if you are capable of enduring this humiliation. That is, presuming you have not already signed a contract relinquishing all your rights and preferences. If that is the case, I’d say comb your hair and powder your bottom because you are shit out of luck.

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8 Responses to Dear Ms. Marwood – No Witnesses

  1. Mike says:

    I wonder who knows that John’s wife spanks him? I judge whoever she wants to witness had been told already. Others may not like that opportunity to witness unless spanking intrigues them. I judge there’s more to the story.

  2. baxter says:

    Ms Marwood, I enjoy your Q&A, especially this one. John probably secretly wants witnesses, but I understand why he may not Your last sentence seals the deal – SOL. 🙂

  3. Anton Pelican says:

    I think that once a man gives total discipline control to his wife, it’s up to her to decide how to apply that, regarding implements, harshness and with or without witnesses, unless one of those things was specified and agreed by both parties beforehand, as a Hard Limit.
    So if the Lady decided it’s a right thing, for her own pleasure, or his training, to let neighbours in, John can only try to be brave and push his pain threshold beyond his usual limits…

  4. Julie says:

    My take on it is if the wife wishes to have witnesses, that is her right and John has no say in it. Here she is, catering to john’s little submissive fantasies, and just when she wants to do something she wants to do, sharing her power over John with friends, then he complains? No way, john! Shave those pubes and ass crack because you’re about to be spanked with witnesses!

    • James says:

      I vehemently disagree with Ms. Marwood and these comments. I don’t care what kind of “contract” was signed or orally agreed to. John can wholly or partially revoke consent at any time. It sounds like his wife is callously ignoring his paychological and emotional well being. This could lead to resentment and be toxic for the relationship.

      The idea that John should have identified this as a limit ahead of time is ridiculous. There is no way for a spankee to know every thing a spanker may try to pull that violates a limit or even what all his limits are until he hears what is proposed.

      Consent must be INFORMED to be valid (and many states do not allow consent to an assault anyway). If he had no way of knowing that she would consider this course of action, he cannot be said to have consented to it.

      I think John should tell his wife the impact that what she is doing will have on him. If she refuses to relent, he should revoke all consent, suspend all further discipline and consider whether she is someone he should be married to.

      • Julie says:

        Hi james, I missed you! It’s all fun and games, you can tell by the way John asked that he was wishing for / dreading the answer he got. I’m sure John is well aware that he can put a stop to everything if he so desires, but that might mean no more fun and games for him, a price he is likely not willing to pay, therefore must suck it up and bare those cheeks and that willy for his neighbour!

  5. Diaperboy says:

    Dear Ms. Marwood,
    I’m new to the spanking scene but think i might need them. I’m 49yr old diaper lover/adult baby(occassionally babyish).
    Do I need to be spanked for peeing my pants/diapers/bed all the time?

  6. Franz says:

    I like Ms. Marwood’s answer. It shows she thinks like a genuine spanking enthusiast. John must be getting an answer he likes. Julie gets it too. Consider this site for what it is. It’s not Dear Abby. 🙂

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