This is a Holiday gift for all of us – catching up with Strict Jane! and her thoughts on New Year’s Resolutions!
I know you have been on your toes and anxiously waiting for some words of wisdom from Strict Jane to set you up for the year ahead. Remember, I am a life coach who spanks, so I have some definite ideas about making resolutions and making the most of a fresh, unblemished year…much as I make the most of every fresh, unblemished bottom I deal with.
Can’t wait to get your thoughts. 2019! Wow. It’s a brand spanking New Year! How do you celebrate?
I will be with good friends in a remote location where we can relax for a few days (and no one will hear the spanks!). I will be reflecting on the year past before planning for the year ahead. The actual New Year’s celebration will include a bottle of bubbly, sparklers (little fireworks on sticks) and a fire to dance around, followed by a midnight plunge into icy water!
Do you make resolutions?
Yes, as a life coach I enjoy the process and I advise all your readers to make resolutions for the new year ahead. It’s easy and very rewarding. It can change the outcome of your year entirely! An important part of the process is to reflect on how you went in 2018 in the big life areas: Work, money, health (mental/physical), spirituality, friends and family, learning and self-development, fun and hobbies. Think about each of those areas and score yourself out of ten, with 10/10 being a very high score. Look closely at the areas with the lowest score first, and think about what needs to change to make these score higher in 2019. Think about the general things you can do to improve those scores. Maybe you need to reconnect with old friends or strengthen some friendships to help with feelings of loneliness, or maybe you can repair a rift in the family by an act of forgiveness. Maybe you can eat more wholefoods and cut out sugary drinks (highly recommended by me), or maybe you need to increase exercise each day. What about a daily meditation? Reflect, reflect, reflect! Reflection gives you context and meaning. Your goals for the new year will make sense only if they build on the year behind you.
Then, make your plan for the new year. Write down what needs to happen in each area to improve it, with very specific actions.
Walk 30 minutes a day, 5 times a week.
Eat a giant salad twice a day with protein as a topping.
Make a list of 5 good friends and schedule a phone call/outing with them once a month.
Complete a course online (of your choice)
Complete Duolingo basics in language of your choice.
Talk to boss about a pay increase for 2019 and discuss your contribution to the business.
Then, after you have done all the above, take a step back. Close your eyes and let your mind rove over 2019 as you imagine it playing out. What would be an awesome experience/event/achievement to make the year special for you? How can you make 2019 an incredible one? What’s the Wow Factor?
Travel? A new business? A romantic partner? Make a baby? Coming to terms with who you are? Building a house? Retiring? Reading every book on your bookshelf? Learning a new skill? Writing a book? Growing vegetables and eating them? Hiking somewhere amazing? Getting a pet? Be sure to make room in your plan for 2019 to include this Wow Factor.
With any goal setting process, it is easy to get caught up in the earthly details of action steps (which are all very well but they can get a bit, well, boring) while forgetting to feed the spirit! Feed your soul with a Wow Factor to make the year ahead sparkly and exciting and full of possibility! Yes, you can improve things and make 2019 better than 2018 and you can also have something to strive for and look forward to! Use your imagination to literally see yourself living your life in 2019 and tweak the picture until you like what you see. You will then know what it is that you wish to aim for. That is how your resolution becomes part of you.
That’s incredibly detailed and mapped out. How long do you keep your resolutions?
I keep my resolutions in mind all year because of the above approach. My strict resolutions inspire me. They are part of me. When I falter (I’m not absolutley perfect, after all) I go back to my vision for the year and that helps me go back to my actions for the year. They are the default setting that I return to again and again, all year long. For example, I identify as a person on a healthy diet that is basically Paleo/cavewoman/wholefoods-based, and I eat this way 95% of the time. During those 5% moments (a gluten-free brownie/a glass of bubbly), I am fully aware that I am not in alignment with my vision of who I am, which makes me uncomfortable. I soon return to the resolution of being a healthy eater and I feel much better because I am again in alignment with my vision of myself as a healthy eater. I have been doing this for the past 7 years and I plan to eat this way for the rest of my life. My resolutions build on a lifetime of success. Stackable success, year in, year out, is really powerful because it forms habits that are part of who you are. It is the same with exercise. I decided years ago that the human body is designed to move on a daily basis, so I exercise every day, and it might be hill sprints, yoga, swimming, walking, Zumba, cycling, dancing or… giving a vigorous spanking. I rarely miss a day of action because I identify as an active person. Anyone can do this.
The point is, none of us are perfect, and we know this, so the act of consciously creating resolutions for the new year gives us something concrete to return to when life throws us a curveball. We are so easily lost in the mess of life’s distractions these days. Having resolutions for 2019 means you don’t have to think too hard or make yet another decision about what to do…you simply look at your resolutions, with all those helpful action steps, and you will be reminded of what is important to you.
I outdid myself this year and kept it a record amount of time. Didn’t break it until 12:02 am, am I in trouble?
Andy, this is a very silly comment. You deserve to be spanked for the sheer impudence of it. Resolutions are not made to be broken, unlike your butt!
So, I am in trouble?
Resolutions are, in fact, like a bottom. You sit on them all year. They keep you warm. They are padded with good intention. They are your base and your baseline. Sometimes they need a wake-up, too, just as your bottom needs a good thrashing, and you are reminded of them all over again. They do not break because they are part of you. They are what you want from life.
At 12:02am on New Year’s Eve, when you eat a chocolate or masturbate or drink another beer or kiss the wrong person, you are not breaking anything. You are merely out of alignment with your vision of yourself. A good spanking can pull you back in, and if I were there, that is what would happen! Otherwise, remember that you are sitting on your resolutions all year long and they will be more comfortable when you are in alignment with them.
Should someone who doesn’t set resolutions or keep them get spanked?
If someone is not making resolutions in a conscious way, they are either ignorant or willfully preparing to have yet another random year where stuff happens to them, rather than a year where they make stuff happen. It is up to the individual. Sure, I can spank you for being sightless and refusing to hold a vision of your future, but I can’t force you to set amazing goals for yourself and try to achieve them. I have learned that while you can drag a horse to water, you certainly can’t force it to drink that water. These days, I simply refuse to work with people who are apathetic. If you want change, I’ll help you make it happen. That is where a good spanking can be a fantastic motivator or form of celebration, or merely a shot of adrenaline that gets you moving. I’m more than happy to spank for a good reason. If you are upset at your life but can’t be bothered setting resolutions and trying to change it, there is little point in my spanking you to improve your life (unless the spanking itself makes you feel better for a little while – there is value in that).
Remember, resolutions are with you inherently – you cannot lose them or break them. If you find yourself out of alignment with your vision of yourself for 2019, that is a very good reason for a spanking. I would expect you to recommit to your resolutions and actions by the end of that spanking.
Suppose we have a good reason to be spanked and we want it over your lap? Are you still spanking naughty bottoms?
I am always spanking naughty bottoms, but not always in a professional capacity. It depends on where I am in the world and whether I am in travel-work mode or not. If you want it over my lap, you will have to be prepared to wait for it. After all, good things come to those who wait! Currently, it is not my focus to give one-on-one spanking sessions around the world. I did that in 2017 in a big way and now I have different projects to work on.
You are worth the wait. Can you give us your contact info, location and travel plans if you have any?
I will not be touring in the first half of the year in the US. In fact, you are more likely to find me online than in person these days. Where I cannot reach every person who needs a spanking in the flesh, I will try to meet them in the mind instead! I never disclose where I am located unless I am seeing clients in a particular area, so you will have to get used to this.
You’ve been in hiding for a while now – what are you doing?
I have been working on a novel, which you know about Andy, and I appreciate your positive words of encouragement so far. My novel dives into the world of spanking in a way that I hope women, as well as men, will enjoy. It has been fun writing it over the past few years, and I was pushing to complete it in 2018 but I need a little longer. That’s the beauty of a resolution – I’m not going to perish because I did not reach the goal by the due date, but I am still holding tight to completing it. Without the resolution of finishing my book I might have dropped the project entirely! (Not really, but see how a resolution works?).
I made a conscious decision to take part in two courses towards the end of 2018 as they will further my personal and business growth. These courses have taken some of the time and focus I would otherwise have put into editing my novel but I am comfortable with that. My timeline has changed as a result, yet I will be more productive in 2019 with all this new learning under my belt.
I think you’ll pen a fabulous tome!
My book will be out one day soon. If it is accepted by a publishing house, there will be a waiting period before it hits the shelves, but I will happily let people know when to look out for it! Anticipation is delicious when you know something juicy is coming, and my book certainly will be juicy!
I’m sure it’ll be a must read. On reflection I have to say, I’ll always cherish meeting you and having your hand be the first one to land with fire on my bare skin! Do you remember anything from that encounter?
I remember how jumpy you were about actually getting onto my lap. I had to sweet-talk you into it! You are one of the only people I have met who did not dive over my knees with glee, because you were so nervous about your first spanking. It was sweet to see the tremor in your hands and the fear in your eyes. I loved that. I was very nice to you, as I recall. You had a blissful introduction to spanking and you soon relaxed into it. I knew you were comfortable when you started with the cheeky back-talk, which earned you a few good swats. I remember the pink glow of your cheeks by the end, and how deeply you enjoyed the feeling of warmth in your buttocks. I believe it was quite a revelation to go from thinking about spanking to actually trying it. The idea, the fantasy, the endless imagining of a good spanking is very different to the reality of being spanked over a woman’s lap, in REAL LIFE. Both are thrilling, yet you can’t beat the real warmth and care of a good spanking, right, Andy? What did you most enjoy?
I enjoyed meeting you most of all. You are so charming, and intoxicating. Did I tell you on my long drive out to see you I actually apologized to my bottom before meeting you? You did handle me with great care and I’ll always cherish that meeting. Oh, and that lap of yours, those legs, still indelibly etched into my mind. Is doling out punishment as fun, or more fun than when you started?
It is definitely more fun these days because I am more skillful than when I started. I can attune myself to bottoms so quickly these days (and the people attached) that we get into synchronicity as soon as the session begins and there is magic in that. There is something beautiful about a session going well, a sort of energy exchange that the top and bottom feel, and they both benefit from it and feel rejuvinated by the end of a good spanking. I was not as aware of the energy aspects of spankings back in the early days of pro spanking. It is also more fun these days because I enjoy the theatrics of a good role play, if that has been requested. It is so much fun to play the part of a vengeful neighbour or cruel headmistress and bring out my inner sadist. It is fun to spank someone who is genuinely nervous before we get started, as I have the honour of dealing with a person who is entirely in the present, in their body, in their mind, with no room for distraction. How rare is that these days? We are so habitually plugged into our devices that we are only half-present in our day-to-day dealings in the world. I get 100% of people and I love that we get to play in a physical and emotional dimension each time. Where else do adults play with their bodies in such a direct way? We are so lucky to have the world of spanking as our play domain – it is as fun and thrilling as a roller coaster ride!
Are you constantly learning new things? Like what?
Yes, I am. There will always be new things to learn in the world of spanking. With every new bottom I learn something. It might be about their skin and how it reacts to repeated impact, or it might be that I learn a new scenario for a spanking. It might be about their emotional state and how the spanking will help them. People are so creative in what they wish for in a spanking session and I am often amazed by their ideas. I had a British client, for example, who wanted me to wear three pairs of tights (or sheer stockings, as you might know them) over the course of three mini-spanking sessions. The first pair were a silky nude colour, the second pair a dark tan colour, the third pair black. As the tights darkened in colour, so did the spankings progress from light and playful to serious and incredibly severe. He was tied down and thrashed hard with my prison strap and cane in the third session and I learned that the tights were a marvelous prop to change my mood and state from playful to serious for each scene. It didn’t hurt that each set of tights was of the highest quality and ordered directly from Italy. Here’s a learning: a little luxury for the woman who spanks you will go a long, long way in appreciation.
I think of myself as a student of life, constantly learning from those around me and from the situations I find myself in. Getting out of my comfort zone (safely, of course) is a great way to learn in an efficient manner. For example, I put myself on a stage recently and had to teach something. That was a great learning experience. I enjoy being surrounded by high-quality resources, too, such as books, mentors and group situations. When I put all of these into play, I learn in high-quality context.
What will this year be like if this year goes the way you want?
In 2019 I will get myself out of my comfort zone more often. I have big plans for 2019. If it goes the way I want (and it will, because I have resolutions for it), my message will spread both online and offline. I will of course stick to my habitual health and wellness ideals, with a bit of a stretch here as well. I am a teacher in one area of fitness and I plan to add another in 2019. My book will soon be completed and the world of Strict Jane will expand. 2019 will be a year of happiness and gratitude with a heavy dash of business success and creativity. Watch this space!
I encourage you, all of you, to sit down with a pen and paper, or your laptop, and make your resolutions for the year ahead. If you have a partner/spouse, it can be great to do this together as a family unit. The new year will go by, regardless of whether you do this or not, but right now you have the opportunity to pre-frame the year and make the best of the time you have, as best you can. The act of formally ’stating’ your resolutions in this way has a kind of magic to it. Things will happen. Serendipity will step in. 2019 will be a good year if you decide to design it that way. Good luck and happy new year! If you wish, you may email your resolutions to me, which is a way of stating them and putting your intentions for 2019 out in the world. I look forward to reading them.