Happy Spanksgiving! So You Want To Be A Disciplinarian? Pt.1

Since it’s a day of giving Thanks, I’m thankful for all you strong ladies that provide the most helpful services to us needy brats-spankings. I thought I’d give something back as well. Miss Iceni’s helpful article should answer some very important questions you may have and give you some amazing insights and information about the practice.

Miss Iceni gives hands on instruction to Miss Moneypenny.

 

So you want to be a Pro Disciplinarian?
15 things I wish I’d known when I started out.

As I am currently mentoring my dear friend Miss Moneypenny in the ‘dark arts’ of traditional discipline, Andy suggested I write this article as a way of collecting together all the advice I am giving her and sharing it with other aspiring Pro Disciplinarians. Here are 15 things I wish I’d known when I started out on my own journey. Of course, this is based on how I’ve done it, feel free to take any of this advice or do it your way- the wonderful thing is, with this business, women get to do it however they like:

Don’t talk to me about rules, dear. Wherever I stay I make the goddamn rules. – Maria Callas

1) The best advice I came across when starting out was to make a decision early on to be original, as there is a lot of competiton.

As in all business, you need a USP and to believe there is a market for this. Then be clear and consistent in your ‘brand’. Don’t try to be a sex kitten if that doesn’t suit you. This is one of the few lines of work (so far) where a woman’s age and experience is a bonus. For example, in my case: I am a matronly archetype who may remind you of your Aunty/Stepmum/neighbour/ best friend’s mum/governess/nanny/headmistress or prim new boss. While I am strict and no-nonsense I can also be a little saucy, in a very British, 1970’s fashion and I have a nurturing side too. I looked around and nobody else seemed to be offering that. And I had a large hunch there would be plenty of demand. Perfect! You don’t have to get it all right immediately: keep honing this image, keep chipping away at it, until you have got it right.

‘When you become the image of your own imagination, it’s the most powerful thing you could ever do.’ – Ru Paul

2) Choose a good name.

I decided on Mistress Iceni, as I am a history buff, and fierce Queen Boudicca was our equivalent of Spartacus here in Britain, defying the Romans. In legends, she rode a chariot with her daughters behind her, swords spinning outwards at the wheels so they sliced her enemies to pieces on the battlefield. Her tribe were called the Iceni. And nobody else was using that (except an educational academy3 who I imagine are not very happy about me taking up all the online searches of ‘Iceni’ now! Oops!) When I honed my image enough to realise I was definitely a Spanker and Disicplinarian, not a Mistress, I changed my name to ‘Miss’ rather than ‘Mistress’.

3) Develop a ‘look’.

Style yourself clearly, and start getting your image out there. Be specific and be repetitive, you need to get noticed. Not only do I focus on vintage style in terms of clothing, but I also want to give a vaguely sinister impression of stillness and watchfulness in my images, like a housekeeper from a Hitchcock film. I remember watching Personal Services with my mother and exclaiming: ‘Shirley! I want to channel Shirley!’

4) At first, plan your sessions, as you may be a little uncertain how to fill the time and take charge.

Communicate while booking – it’s no good opening the door in a nightie and slippers, as the saucy neighbour, accusing him of being a panty-thief, stripping him and smacking his bare bottom with 15 implements when he wants a stern, prim headmistress and a school role-play with a cold caning and just his underpants lowering. Even write lesson-plans at6 first, step-by step, so you know what you’re going to do next. Eventually it will come naturally and you can improvise.

5) This is very important – learn the techniques.

Safety first. Impact play can be dangerous, and you have a duty of care, so learn how to do it properly. I cringe when I see online images of badly-wrapped or wonky/too high cane-marks, bruising over kidneys or other danger-zones. You may be ‘playing’ but it’s not just a ‘game’. Someone could end up in hospital, or worse. There is plenty of information out there. Go to workshops, classes, bdsm events and practice, practice, practice. The best way to practice is to find a regular play partner. I was lucky enough to have my ‘nephew’ to try new things on, whether that be implements, positions, techniques, or fantasies. He has an insatiable need for discipline, and the cutest bottom, so I can try anything with him. He has been my inspiration, my muse, and the apple of his Aunty’s eye. I could spank him from here to eternity.

6) Decide where you are going to work from and how you are going to make that work. I decided to work from home, but at the start I was sharing a flat, so triangulating bookings when I was free, the client was free, and my (supportive but slightly squeamish) flatmate was at work was a real headache. I tried offering other venues, renting adult schoolrooms for example, but as what I do is often domestic, people much preferred to visit me at home. Eventually I took the plunge and found my own place, even with a room which is my dedicated ‘study’ I’ve never looked back. I recommend an apartment with a discreet entrance-way, and neighbours who are hard of hearing and have no sense of curiosity.

Okay, lesson 1-6 done. We have more to discuss, but I wanted you to have time to read, digest, and absorb

If you have other points or questions please don’t hesitate to respond in the comments section. Or contact me:

https://www.missiceni.com/

I’m available to give lessons, dole out punishments and answer questions!